Dear Angry Lady Irene,
I cannot be unhappier at your arrival and my reasons go beyond emotions for the havoc that you are intending to cause. You are way too brash, the way you keep changing your course, I can tell you’re also impulsive and what can be said about your timing, it’s totally off! Although I hope you never show your face again, if you have to, please take cognizance of my complaints.
We kind of just got over the unannounced visit by an Earthquake last week. We’re really not looking for anything serious just now. Don’t plan your visit right after an earth-shattering event! (pun intended). On that note, the next time, can you please plan your arrival during the work week rather than the weekend?
Most importantly, there is no reason for you to interfere with our internet and mobile connections. We’re not trying to steal your thunder, you don’t steal ours.
Lastly, we honeslty don't care! Duct tapes up, the kitchen is stocked. It’s a two-day party!